Traditions and customs
The rings. Wedding rings are traditionally made of precious metals like gold to express the true value of a relationship. Today the rings are paid for by the groom and are usually carried by the best man until required during the ceremony.
The best man. Back in the days when the groom
kidnapped his bride, the best man was appointed by the groom for protection and
to ensure him and his bride arrived safely at the church.
The cake. Originally the bride and groom would stand on opposite
sides of the cake and attempt to kiss. If the kiss was carried out without
toppling the cake, good fortune could be expected. This tradition has been
continued and modified into today’s multi-tiered cake with the kissing couple
on top.
The dress. Today, most brides marry in white to signify
virginity, happiness and joy, although historically they would have wed in they
preferred colour, usually wearing their favourite dress.
The veil. Originally worn by brides in Roman
times, it was later adopted as it was thought to signify chastity.
Something old, new, borrowed item and blue. The bride
wears something old as a symbol of her old life.
Something new refers to the hope in her new life. A borrowed item form a married woman is believed to pass on good luck. Blue
symbolises purity, faithfulness and her commitment to her new husband.
The flowers. After the ceremony it is traditional for the bride to
throw her bouquet over her shoulder towards unmarried female guests. The
catcher of the bouquet is believed to be the next to marry and will be blessed
with good luck.
The kiss. In days gone by, a kiss was the couple’s way of publicly accepting the
contract of marriage.
Clothing
The bride. A church wedding might require more formal,
traditional attire, whilst a register office or civil ceremony may allow a less
strict dress code.
The groom and attendants. The bridegroom and the
best man would traditionally wear morning dress. For civil ceremonies suits are
often worn.
The guests. Male guests would often wear suits even if the
wedding party are in morning dress. Female guests should wear a hat and a dress to a
formal wedding and evening dress to a black tie affair.
The ceremony
If the couple have no religious beliefs they may
consider a civil ceremony, perhaps followed by a blessing. If they plan a
church wedding it is advisable to check availability as soon as possible. If
they plan a summer and/or Saturday ceremony, they have to check again
availability to give themselves the widest choice and book early.
However, if they plan
a mid-week ceremony they are most likely to book the venue of their choice and
be closer to their original date.
The reception
Receiving guests. A receiving line is formed to greet the guests
individually as they arrive. The hosts stand at the front of the line. Next in
line would be the groom’s mother and father, followed by the bride and groom
and any other attendants. The guests then make their way to their respective
tables.
Seating plan. Handwritten place cards in the style of the
invitation, numbers on tables and a plan of the room will help guests find
their seat with the minimum of fuss.
Cutting the cake. It was believed, in order for the bride to bear
children, she should cut the first slice. Today the first cut is more symbolic
to the couple’s shared future together.
Departure of the bride and groom. Traditionally
a time for the best man and friends of the couple to decorate the going away
car with balloons, crazy foam and tin cans without the couple’s knowledge.
Entertainment. The only traditional
entertainment at the reception takes the form of the speeches and the bride and
groom’s first dance. With modern weddings it is common for there to be a very
informal evening party, usually including a buffet.
Other etiquette
Invitations. The wording on the invitations is dependent on
who is ‘hosting’ the wedding. It is important to decide who the hosts are and
word the invitations accordingly.
Photographs. Careful planning is essential to
ensure a couple to obtain the photographs they desire, without guests waiting
around unnecessarily for the perfect shot.
Speeches. The traditional order of speeches are as
follows: The bride’s father proposes a toast to the bride and groom and
continues, with an insight into his daughter. The groom responds on behalf of
his wife and himself, thanks all those involved in the organising of the
wedding, and may wish to present his and the bride’s mother with bouquets.
Also, the groom thanks his attendants and speaks about his new wife. After the
groom has finished, the bride may wish to speak. The best man then delivers his
speech.
TABLE ETIQUETTE
Courtesy rules of Western Europe
Traditionally in Western Europe, the host or
hostess takes the first bite unless he or she instructs otherwise. Food should always be tasted before salt and
pepper are added.
The fork is held with the left hand and the
knife held with the right. When eating soup, the spoon is held in the right
hand and the bowl tipped away from the diner, scooping the soup in outward
movements.
Only white wine or rosé is held by the stem of
the glass; red by the bowl.
It is impolite to reach over someone to pick up
food or other items.
When one has finished eating, this should be
communicated by placing the knife and fork together on the plate, at
approximately 4 o’clock position, with the fork placed lower than the knife,
and its lines facing upwards.
When using the serviette: you must put it on the
lap; if you are at home or at a friend’s house, fold the serviette when you
finish eating; if you are only visiting during the meal, leave the serviette
unfolded next to the plate; and before drinking water, you must clean your
mouth to avoid dirtying the glass.
Put the jug on the table with the handle towards the
person who will use it.
The toothpick is used privately, never on the table.
Do not leave food on the plate and serve only what you are going to eat.
The table
The table has to be specially treated so that its
presentation is in line with the category and rank of the honouree in honour of
the person who offers the banquet, decorating it with a candlestick, if it is a
dinner. Along the centre of the table a chain of varied
natural flowers and greens are placed.
The glasses are usually placed in front of the
centre of the cutlery: one for the dark whine, one for the white one, one
somewhat bigger for water, another flat or long for the cava and finally the
liquor one. The glassware must be placed in a way that the highest one is on
the left of the lowest one.
The dispersion of cutlery is usually done by placing
the fork on the left, the spoon and the knife on the right, and the dessert
cutlery and teaspoon in front of the dishes.
BLACK TIE ETIQUETTE
There are different types of black tie that must be
used, both in acts of a general nature and in those of special character,
whether they are public or private:
Morning coat. Garment worn with black waistcoat
and dark gray striped trousers. With the morning coat it is only necessary to
wear white shirt with starched cuff and fixed to the shirt. The tie has to be long and dark, being able to
carry a pin and a pearl in it. The socks are black. Gloves will be gray in official
acts, except for the funerals in which they will be black as same as the tie.
Tuxedo. The waistcoat can be of round and wide neckline
with two small pockets. The shirt is white with a rigid chest and closes with a
single button. The tie is small and it has the shape of a
butterfly with a central knot. It is usually called “bow tie”. The shoes are
black and the socks are also black.
Dress uniform. It is a garment that is commonly
used by various entities and military bodies. It is a garment in which each of
the pieces is properly regulated.
Tailcoat. The shirt and the neck are the same as the
tuxedo, fastened up with white, pearl or glossy buttons. The tie is made of piqué in the form of
butterfly or bow tie. The gloves are white. The appropriate hat for the tailcoat is called
“top hat”. The tailcoat is usually worn with a black coat
or cape.
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