Friday 6 January 2017

Social protocol

WEDDING ETIQUETTE

Traditions and customs

The rings. Wedding rings are traditionally made of precious metals like gold to express the true value of a relationship. Today the rings are paid for by the groom and are usually carried by the best man until required during the ceremony.



The best man. Back in the days when the groom kidnapped his bride, the best man was appointed by the groom for protection and to ensure him and his bride arrived safely at the church.



The cake. Originally the bride and groom would stand on opposite sides of the cake and attempt to kiss. If the kiss was carried out without toppling the cake, good fortune could be expected. This tradition has been continued and modified into today’s multi-tiered cake with the kissing couple on top.


The dress. Today, most brides marry in white to signify virginity, happiness and joy, although historically they would have wed in they preferred colour, usually wearing their favourite dress.


The veil. Originally worn by brides in Roman times, it was later adopted as it was thought to signify chastity.


Something old, new, borrowed item and blue. The bride wears something old as a symbol of her old life. Something new refers to the hope in her new life. A borrowed item form a married woman is believed to pass on good luck. Blue symbolises purity, faithfulness and her commitment to her new husband.


The flowers. After the ceremony it is traditional for the bride to throw her bouquet over her shoulder towards unmarried female guests. The catcher of the bouquet is believed to be the next to marry and will be blessed with good luck.


The kiss. In days gone by, a kiss was the couple’s way of publicly accepting the contract of marriage.


Clothing

The bride. A church wedding might require more formal, traditional attire, whilst a register office or civil ceremony may allow a less strict dress code.


The groom and attendants. The bridegroom and the best man would traditionally wear morning dress. For civil ceremonies suits are often worn. 


The guests. Male guests would often wear suits even if the wedding party are in morning dress. Female guests should wear a hat and a dress to a formal wedding and evening dress to a black tie affair.


The ceremony

If the couple have no religious beliefs they may consider a civil ceremony, perhaps followed by a blessing. If they plan a church wedding it is advisable to check availability as soon as possible. If they plan a summer and/or Saturday ceremony, they have to check again availability to give themselves the widest choice and book early.



However, if they plan a mid-week ceremony they are most likely to book the venue of their choice and be closer to their original date. 

The reception

Receiving guests. A receiving line is formed to greet the guests individually as they arrive. The hosts stand at the front of the line. Next in line would be the groom’s mother and father, followed by the bride and groom and any other attendants. The guests then make their way to their respective tables.


Seating plan. Handwritten place cards in the style of the invitation, numbers on tables and a plan of the room will help guests find their seat with the minimum of fuss.


Cutting the cake. It was believed, in order for the bride to bear children, she should cut the first slice. Today the first cut is more symbolic to the couple’s shared future together.


Departure of the bride and groom. Traditionally a time for the best man and friends of the couple to decorate the going away car with balloons, crazy foam and tin cans without the couple’s knowledge.


Entertainment. The only traditional entertainment at the reception takes the form of the speeches and the bride and groom’s first dance. With modern weddings it is common for there to be a very informal evening party, usually including a buffet.


Other etiquette

Invitations. The wording on the invitations is dependent on who is ‘hosting’ the wedding. It is important to decide who the hosts are and word the invitations accordingly.
 

Photographs. Careful planning is essential to ensure a couple to obtain the photographs they desire, without guests waiting around unnecessarily for the perfect shot.


Speeches. The traditional order of speeches are as follows: The bride’s father proposes a toast to the bride and groom and continues, with an insight into his daughter. The groom responds on behalf of his wife and himself, thanks all those involved in the organising of the wedding, and may wish to present his and the bride’s mother with bouquets. Also, the groom thanks his attendants and speaks about his new wife. After the groom has finished, the bride may wish to speak. The best man then delivers his speech.



TABLE ETIQUETTE

Courtesy rules of Western Europe

Traditionally in Western Europe, the host or hostess takes the first bite unless he or she instructs otherwise. Food should always be tasted before salt and pepper are added. 

The fork is held with the left hand and the knife held with the right. When eating soup, the spoon is held in the right hand and the bowl tipped away from the diner, scooping the soup in outward movements.


Only white wine or rosé is held by the stem of the glass; red by the bowl.


It is impolite to reach over someone to pick up food or other items.

When one has finished eating, this should be communicated by placing the knife and fork together on the plate, at approximately 4 o’clock position, with the fork placed lower than the knife, and its lines facing upwards.


 So, be punctual at the time of the meal. Sit up straight at the table and when sitting or standing on the table, use the left side of the chair. 

When using the serviette: you must put it on the lap; if you are at home or at a friend’s house, fold the serviette when you finish eating; if you are only visiting during the meal, leave the serviette unfolded next to the plate; and before drinking water, you must clean your mouth to avoid dirtying the glass.



Put the jug on the table with the handle towards the person who will use it. 

The toothpick is used privately, never on the table. Do not leave food on the plate and serve only what you are going to eat.

The table

The table has to be specially treated so that its presentation is in line with the category and rank of the honouree in honour of the person who offers the banquet, decorating it with a candlestick, if it is a dinner. Along the centre of the table a chain of varied natural flowers and greens are placed.


The glasses are usually placed in front of the centre of the cutlery: one for the dark whine, one for the white one, one somewhat bigger for water, another flat or long for the cava and finally the liquor one. The glassware must be placed in a way that the highest one is on the left of the lowest one.

The dispersion of cutlery is usually done by placing the fork on the left, the spoon and the knife on the right, and the dessert cutlery and teaspoon in front of the dishes.



BLACK TIE ETIQUETTE

There are different types of black tie that must be used, both in acts of a general nature and in those of special character, whether they are public or private:

Morning coat. Garment worn with black waistcoat and dark gray striped trousers. With the morning coat it is only necessary to wear white shirt with starched cuff and fixed to the shirt. The tie has to be long and dark, being able to carry a pin and a pearl in it. The socks are black. Gloves will be gray in official acts, except for the funerals in which they will be black as same as the tie.


Tuxedo. The waistcoat can be of round and wide neckline with two small pockets. The shirt is white with a rigid chest and closes with a single button. The tie is small and it has the shape of a butterfly with a central knot. It is usually called “bow tie”. The shoes are black and the socks are also black. 


Dress uniform. It is a garment that is commonly used by various entities and military bodies. It is a garment in which each of the pieces is properly regulated. 


Tailcoat. The shirt and the neck are the same as the tuxedo, fastened up with white, pearl or glossy buttons. The tie is made of piqué in the form of butterfly or bow tie. The gloves are white. The appropriate hat for the tailcoat is called “top hat”. The tailcoat is usually worn with a black coat or cape.

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